1. A little girl
was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its
throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
Jonah".
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
2. A Kindergarten
teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were
drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what her drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks
like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the
girl replied, "They will in a minute."
3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing
the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and
thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how
to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a
family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
4. One day a little girl was sitting and
watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly
noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking
out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are
some of your hairs white, Mommy?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong
and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and
then said, "Mommy, how come ALL of
grandma's hairs are
white?"
5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher
was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture..
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are
all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room whispered, "And there's
the teacher. She's dead."
6.
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I
stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I
would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class
said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
7. The children were lined up in the
cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of
the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and
posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is
watching the apples.